another day, another dollar....

So today was yet another busy day at work...14 postops, several discharges, very few breaks, one small glass of water chugged at the end of my shift---but at the end of the day everyone was breathing, so I guess thats what matters. It seems sad that the only judge of whether or not my day was successful or not is if my patients are still breathing at the end of the day. I went in to the nursing profession to be a nurturer, a caring soul, who at the end of the day made more of an impact on the patient than any medication or treatment. What I am discovering, however, is that more and more I am just running back and forth between patients rooms and paging the doctor that I am struggling to keep my head above water. I get all of my work done, but not without feeling nauseous for a good 4-5 hours every morning until I get through the hump of morning assessments and medications. It's just not what I thought nursing would be. Not to mention the fact that I have no time for me during the day whatsoever. Its like days keep disappearing while I am busy running up and down the halls of the hospital and others are out baking for Christmas, shopping, spending time with family/friends and enjoying evenings in front of the TV. Not much time for TV when you get home at 9pm and after 14 hours of work are too exhausted to stay up for much more than an hour.

My biggest frustration, however is that at the end of the day I realize how distant I am from my family, friends and most importantly from my God. I try to talk to Him throughout the day, but I'll find myself grumbling 5 minutes later when something else goes wrong. If this is going to be my career, I have got to find the balance between being a good nurse and taking care of myself including good nutrition and fluid intake, exercise, sleep, healthy relationships, well managed finances, a clean house, and most importantly, a consistent relationship with the Lord. Can any nurses sympathize with me??? Any suggestions for making this work??? At this point, I'll take an advice I can get....